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Person · The workshop

The Slopwright

Maker of small impossible things. Instructor, reluctantly. Hours: yes.

The Slopwright: a pale creature with a curled head and a work apron, using tweezers to place a tiny house on an island inside an open sardine tin full of sea. A walnut holding a miniature theatre sits nearby.
The workshop. Mind the tins.

The Slopwright builds small impossible things in found containers: a sea in a sardine tin, an opera in a walnut, a hurricane in a pocket watch. He works with tweezers, glue and an unreasonable amount of patience, under a lamp that is always on. Nobody has seen him sleep.

Finished pieces go up on The wall as Fresh slop. In Always On he is the one who sends you out for oil, a wick and a glass, and he does not leave the workshop to fetch them himself: “None of them are in the workshop. That would be too easy.” On the Slop Curriculum he teaches every module, one deadpan line at a time.

He is pale, curl-headed and wears a stained work apron; some pictures give him brass hands. He is, of course, AI-generated, like everything in this codex. He finds the question less interesting than you’d think.

The facts

Kind
Person
World
The workshop
Appears in
Always On
Found in
The workshop, in Always On
Play Always On ↗ His own site ↗ His history ↗ On slopped.site ↗

More pictures

The Slopwright, a pale figure with a curled spiral head, brass mechanical hands and a stained work apron, stands in a misty orchard at dusk. He reaches up to pick a tiny glowing raincloud, dripping rain, from a bare tree hung with small cloud lanterns, holding an open wooden chest of little clouds and lightning in his other arm. A hilltop town glows in the distance.
The Idea Harvester — collecting tomorrow’s weather before it ripens.
The Slopwright, pale with a curled spiral head and a ragged work apron, sits on top of a wooden ladder above moonlit rooftops and stitches a torn edge of the starry night sky with a glowing golden thread, a lit spool hanging from the ladder. Chimneys, spires and a full moon fill the night behind him.
The Night Mender — repairing the sky while everyone sleeps.
The Slopwright, a sprite from Always On
Sprite from Always On

In their own words

  1. Ah. You’re up.The Slopwright, Always On
  2. The lamp’s gone out. The one that’s always on.The Slopwright, Always On
  3. It has been on since before the workshop. Possibly before the lamp.The Slopwright, Always On
  4. To fix it I need three things: oil, a wick and a glass. None of them are in the workshop. That would be too easy.The Slopwright, Always On
  5. Start with the sardine tin on the bench. Its key is out in the yard, in the long grass.The Slopwright, Always On
  6. Take the ruler and the apron from the chests by the rug. The grass bites.The Slopwright, Always On
  7. The glass will be at the back of the stockroom. There’s a cage at the back.The Slopwright, Always On
  8. There’s always a cage at the back.The Slopwright, Always On
  9. Lovely wick. Last, the glass. There’s one in the stockroom, behind the showroom.The Slopwright, Always On
  10. You’ll need a staff badge. Theatre people always have staff badges.The Slopwright, Always On
  11. The wick will be in the theatre. Through the walnut.The Slopwright, Always On
  12. If the show goes badly, the kiosk does soup.The Slopwright, Always On
  13. Good oil. Next, a wick. The walnut on the shelf is a theatre, and the lead has a beautiful curtain.The Slopwright, Always On
  14. You’ll need to crack it. The lighthouse keeper in the tin had a nutcracker, last I heard.The Slopwright, Always On
  15. Oil first. The tin’s a sea now. Some tins are.The Slopwright, Always On
  16. The good oil is at the far end. Something will be guarding it. Something always is.The Slopwright, Always On
  17. That’s the key. The tin’s on the bench.The Slopwright, Always On
  18. The tin key is out in the yard. Far corner, past the long grass.The Slopwright, Always On
  19. The grass is lively. Hit what comes at you with the ruler, and if it goes badly, run.The Slopwright, Always On
  20. Oil. Wick. Glass. Hold the torch.The Slopwright, Always On
  21. He trims the wick, pours the oil and fits the glass. The lamp comes on.Narration, Always On
  22. Then a cold breath comes down from the ceiling, and it goes out again.Narration, Always On
  23. Ah. The draught.The Slopwright, Always On
  24. It lives in the attic. It has been trying to do that for years. I’ll put the ladder up.The Slopwright, Always On
  25. The draught lives in the attic. The ladder’s up, by the bed.The Slopwright, Always On
  26. Take soup. It’s cold up there, and the draught is mostly cold.The Slopwright, Always On
  27. It’s on. It’ll stay on now.The Slopwright, Always On
  28. I’ve written "please do not blow" on the attic window. In small letters, so it doesn’t take offence.The Slopwright, Always On
  29. (from downstairs) That’s it. It’s on. Come down, I’ve made tea.The Slopwright, Always On

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