Creatures
65 in the codex, in 7 worlds. In alphabetical order, ignoring “the”.
The AssistantA faceless mannequin in a staff vest. Only moves while you aren’t looking.
BatchA large glob. Comes apart into two.
The Big TinFans of sardines and a charge across the room.
Binder clipPinches. Clamps.
Bread rollBreaks into three crumbs. The crumbs keep going.
Can crabNips. Then raises one big claw.
The CentrepieceA tiered jelly the size of a desk lamp. It sheds more jelly.
ChairAn office chair that rolls at you. Stompable.
ClocheClosed, it can’t be hurt. Open, it fires and can.
CobwebClings. Spins itself thicker.
CrumbPart of a roll, recently.
Curtain mothFlutters. Eats a hole in you, twice.
Desk lampGlares. Warms everyone else up.
Display modelPoses. Tilts forward. Some assembly required.
Drain eelGoes under. A ring marks where it comes up.
The DraughtThe cold that comes in under doors. Always On’s last fight.
DraughtletA small draught. Whistles through you.
Dust bunnyShuffles into you.
EraserRubs out your block. Smudges.
FerruleThe workshop cat. Her bell has gone missing.
Filing cabinetFiles, slams, opens all its drawers at you.
The First Batch“The one that started all of this.”
FlatpackAssembles at you. Tightens a cam lock.
Foil swanWrapped in foil. Laminators just make it shinier.
Glass manta rayCompany. It doesn’t say much.
GlobSquashes down, then hops at you.
Glue gunGlobs. Shoots.
GumballArrives by the handful.
HecklerBoos. Throws a tomato.
Hole punchReloads, then punches.
Ice cubeSlides in straight lines. Never stops.
The inboxUrgent. Then a flood. Then a pile. Then cc.
Ink blotSplats. Spreads.
JellyWobbles toward the Out tray. Nothing special. It knows.
KettleSteams everything near it back to health. Or holds the slop up for a while.
Larder mothDrifts at you. Crosses gaps.
Loose screwTurns, sharply. Sometimes drills.
The Mother BatchLeaps, lands in a ring, makes more of itself.
MouldSwells. Then a ring of slow spores.
Oil slickSpreads. Soaks itself back up.
The Opener“Round and round. Round and round.” Nobody opens the tin but it.
Paper mothFlies straight over everything.
The photocopierThe boss at the top of the workshop. Switch it off.
Pickle jarThe lid lifts, then one shot.
Price gunLabels you. Marks you down.
PushpinJabs. Gets to the point.
Rubber band ballBounces, harder each time.
SardineSlaps.
Sardine tinA sardine tin that has decided to walk. Armoured.
ShearsSnip, snip, open.
The shredderChews, grinds and feeds.
SiphonDraws a line to you first. Step off the line.
The Slop MonsterA software monster that grows on AI, data centers, public funds and tax breaks.
Snow globeIts glass soaks the first four hits, however big.
StagehandShifts scenery onto you. Lifts a flat over its head first.
StaplerHas worked for both sides.
Sticky noteFlaps. Sticks.
Swivel chairRolls into you. Spins.
Tape dispenserTangles. Winds up.
TeacupFast. Slow towers miss the moment.
Teacup snailA snail living in a teacup. Stomp it and it hides in the cup.
TineLines up, shows you the line, then goes.
The Understudy“Act one: me. Act two: also me.”
WalnutSlow, huge, and fans barely ruffle it.
WhiskSpins up, then lunges. Twice.