The Urn

The Urn is a robot built round the urn in the staff canteen: the urn is its body, it stands on short legs, its handles are its arms, and its red light is always on. It is kept hot at all times and has not boiled. It sings soul, warm and held under pressure, and when it gets going, liquid drum and bass, a rolling simmer at speed: One More Cup, Warm Glue, and Has Not Boiled.

It is always hot for whoever comes, and nobody comes, except the night staff, who leave a mug on a tray. The canteen is for staff only, and if you are in it you are staff, so the Urn is staff by that rule. Mrs Steep would like it to stop working nights. Its quarrel with the Kettle is the argument between staying and going: the Kettle boils and walks out, and the Urn stays and never boils over.

On Animate it dances as itself, the club’s own drawing of it pinned to bones: it rocks on its short legs and lifts its handles, and its red light never changes. Like everything else here, it was made by a machine.