Factions

Who sides with whom, as far as the games let on. Nine sides, from the household that keeps the lamp on to the draughts that would rather it didn’t. Nobody asked them whether they get on, so each faction’s view of the others is its own, and often not returned.

All of them are proposed: the codex grouped what the games already say, and the factions become canon only once they are approved. Where membership can’t be settled it says “not on record” and links the open question.

Two axes, the world’s own

The lamp: What they do about the lamp that’s always on, and the lights other people keep. From keeps it on to blows it out. Seen from the household’s bench: above the middle is lamplit, which they would call good; the middle is unbothered; below it is draughty, which they would call bad. The draughts see it the other way up.
The lid: What they do about lids, doors, rotas and files: things kept where they belong. From sealed to spilled. Neither end is better: a sealed faction can blow the lamp out, and a spilled one can mean well.

Ally Wary Rival Each arrow is one faction’s view of another; two factions can see each other differently. In the circle: + lamplit, 0 unbothered, − draughty. Unaware isn’t drawn.

Where each one stands. Up is the lamp kept on; right is everything kept where it belongs.

The household Proposed

One ordinary thing, one impossible detail, and the lamp stays on. “Say it’s AI.”

Wants: The lamp on, the work finished, everything labelled as made by machine.
Because: A small impossible thing is worth the patience, and saying how it was made is the only honest way to show it.
How: Tweezers, glue and errands: the apprentice is sent out for whatever the bench needs.
Has: The bench, the lamp, a drawer that sells soup, and every container in the workshop.
Blind spot: Sends the apprentice for everything and never leaves the workshop to fetch it.
Never: Pretend something was made by hand.
Alignment: lamplit (keeps it on), lidded the axes
Leader: The Slopwright
Members: The Slopwright, The apprentice, Ferrule, The Drawer, Glass manta ray, Wren
Maybe: The Skimmer not on record
Not members: Mr Plinth: The neighbour: he stands in the yard and lives next door, not in the workshop.
Symbol: A desk lamp, lit
Found in: Always On: the whole cast at home; the apprentice is the player; Benchwork: the apprentice is the player; Take Cover: the cat you must not hit; Lamp Post: the Slopwright’s bench; The Slopwright: his own site; The Slop Curriculum: the Slopwright teaches; GeoCities: TheWorkshop and the Slop Fan Ring

ally The tin: The lamp’s oil is the best sardine oil, from the tin. The apprentice saw off the Opener for them.
ally The company: The wick came from the walnut theatre’s great curtain, and Cue made the apprentice crew.
wary Staff only: The apprentice carries their badge with somebody else’s photo on it, and the staff door thinks about it before it opens.
wary The stock: The lamp glass came from the showroom, still in the plastic. Its display models fought for it. (the stock: rival)
wary The four coworkers: Wren was told to tidy the workshop. There was a fight instead.
rival The office supplies: In Benchwork the apprentice climbs two floors of them to switch off the photocopier.
rival The escaped batch: The Slopwright made the batch, and it got out. Paperweight is about holding it back. (the escaped batch: wary)
rival The draughts: The Draught blows the lamp out. That is the whole of Always On.

The tin Proposed

The tin stays a sea, and nobody here is lunch.

Wants: To stay a sea, and not to be opened, eaten or tidied.
Because: They have only just stopped being in a tin, as far as they are concerned.
How: Advice, mostly: Captain Brine tells you to Defend, Lumen keeps a light, Gill sells tackle.
Has: A lighthouse made from an anchovy tin, a shop, oil, and a nutcracker.
Blind spot: Grateful to whoever opened the lid, and in no position to stop the next one.
Never: Go back in the tin.
Alignment: lamplit (minds it), ajar the axes
Leader: Captain Brine
Members: Captain Brine, Gill, Lumen, Sardine
Not members: Tin eel: The tin eel eats sardines. The Opener: It wanted to open the tin; the tin folk wanted it to stay a sea.
Symbol: A tin key
Found in: Always On: the sardine-tin sea; Snake: the tin, from the eel’s side; Helicopter: the sea the manta ray swims in; GeoCities: SardineTinSea and the Lighthouse Keepers ring

ally The household: The apprentice beat the Opener, and the tin stayed a sea, which suits the captain.
ally The company: Lumen kept a nutcracker for the walnut, and asks for it to be cracked gently. There are people in there.
wary The escaped batch: Some sardine tins have got up and walked off with the batch. Nobody in the tin will say whose. (the escaped batch: unaware)
wary The draughts: Lumen’s Lighthouse Keepers ring on GeoCities lets draughts in, barely. (the draughts: ally)
unaware Staff only: Nobody in the tin has a staff badge, or a door.
unaware The stock: The showroom is a long way from the bench, by sea.
unaware The office supplies: Nothing in the tin needs filing.
unaware The four coworkers: Nobody in the tin works late; the tide does.

The company Proposed

The show goes on, whoever is in it, and the tickets are free.

Wants: A house, a show and the curtain up on time.
Because: A theatre with nobody in it is still a theatre if somebody keeps it open.
How: Free tickets, staff badges and patience.
Has: The walnut theatre, the gods, a kiosk of lucky buttons and a box of badges.
Blind spot: Waited out the Understudy instead of stopping it.
Never: Charge for a ticket.
Alignment: lamplit (minds it), lidded the axes
Leader: Cue
Members: Cue, Dot, Mo, The usher
Maybe: The Understudy not on record
Not members: Ms Quill: A critic. She reviews the company; she isn’t in it.
Symbol: A cracked walnut
Found in: Always On: the walnut theatre; The Big Number: the pit and the show; Music: the show’s songs; GeoCities: WalnutTheatre

ally The household: The apprentice got the Understudy off the stage, and the house came back.
ally The tin: The way into the walnut is a nutcracker from the lighthouse.
ally Staff only: Cue gives out the badges. They’re all the same door.
wary The draughts: Somebody blew Ms Quill’s programmes all over the theatre. Nobody has said who. (the draughts: unaware)
unaware The stock: Nothing in the walnut is for sale. Mo’s buttons are lucky, not stock.
unaware The office supplies: Nobody in the walnut has seen a stapler.
unaware The four coworkers: They have never been to the open plan, and it shows.
unaware The escaped batch: The walnut is shut. Nothing has got in.

Staff only Proposed

Behind every staff door, the same people. “They’re all the same door, really.”

Wants: The rota kept, the post forwarded and the doors shut after closing.
Because: Somebody has to be on after closing, and it works best if nobody sees them.
How: Memos, a password written in the colour of the page, and not looking at certain things.
Has: Every staff door, a noticeboard on GeoCities, and the password.
Blind spot: Their memos stop making sense the further down you go, and they follow them anyway.
Never: Be in a picture.
Alignment: unbothered (leaves it), sealed the axes
Leader: Nobody is in charge. There is a rota.
Members: The night staff, Ottoline, Cue, The usher
Not members: The Assistant: Their own memo: “The Assistant is not a colleague. It is a fixture.”
Symbol: A staff badge with somebody else’s photo
Found in: Backrooms: the memos on every floor; Always On: the staff door, the sales floor, the theatre crew; GeoCities: the night staff’s noticeboard and the Staff Door ring; Bad UI: the staff login on one CAPTCHA

ally The company: Cue is on both rotas.
ally The draughts: Their memos say to follow the dust when it drifts: air moves toward the exit. (the draughts: unaware)
wary The household: The apprentice has a badge. The photo on it is of a different apprentice.
wary The stock: Store policy: do not acknowledge the Assistant during stocktake. It is counting too.
wary The four coworkers: The open plan works late on purpose. The night staff are on a rota that says overtime is not available.
unaware The tin: There is no staff door in the tin.
unaware The office supplies: Office supplies are a different department.
unaware The escaped batch: Whatever it is, it isn’t on the rota.

The stock Proposed

“Everything’s on display. Nothing’s in stock.”

Wants: To be on display for ever, and for nobody to take anything home.
Because: A showroom is perfect as long as nothing leaves it.
How: Standing very still, then not.
Has: The showroom, the price guns, half-price stickers, and floors that keep going.
Blind spot: It can only move when nobody is looking, so it never quite gets anywhere.
Never: Be in stock.
Alignment: draughty (lets it gutter), lidded the axes
Leader: Nobody has said. See the Assistant, below.
Members: Display model, Flatpack, Swivel chair, Price gun
Maybe: The Assistant not on record
Symbol: A half-price sticker
Found in: Always On: the showroom’s fights; Backrooms: the showroom that doesn’t end; Maze Chase: the stock that mustn’t notice you; Falling Blocks: seven shapes of flatpack; Hot Desk: a swivel chair down the open plan

wary Staff only: The Assistant has asked for a staff vest in your size. Nobody has provided one.
wary The office supplies: Swivel chairs end up in the open plan. Nobody says how.
rival The household: The apprentice walked out of the showroom with the lamp glass. The display models tried to stop it. (the household: wary)
rival The four coworkers: Model 7 retired from the shop window and went to work in an office. Still posing. (the four coworkers: wary)
unaware The tin: Nobody has ever returned a sea.
unaware The company: Theatre people have their own furniture.
unaware The escaped batch: Slop isn’t stocked.
unaware The draughts: The Assistant doesn’t mind the dark.

The office supplies Proposed

Everything gets filed, stamped or stapled, in that order.

Wants: Every task done in order: frank, stamp, meter, post.
Because: Nothing goes wrong in an office that follows procedure. Nobody has checked.
How: Doing the same four or five things in the same order, forever.
Has: The stockroom shelves, two floors of the workshop, and the Out tray.
Blind spot: Can be read like a timetable, which is how the apprentice gets past.
Never: Skip a step.
Alignment: draughty (lets it gutter), sealed the axes
Leader: Each floor has a boss: the inbox, the photocopier, the franking machine. None of them answers to the others.
Members: Stapler, The inbox, The photocopier, The franking machine, Filing cabinet, The shredder, Hole punch, Desk lamp, Tape dispenser, Binder clip
Symbol: A single staple
Found in: Benchwork: every enemy and boss; Paperweight: the towers, on your side; Drip: the staplers you mustn’t jump on; Crazy Eights: the stapler across the table; Texas Hold’em: the table; GeoCities: OfficePark and the Office Supplies WebRing

ally The four coworkers: Pip fights with a stapler and a clipboard. Office supplies are proud of Pip.
wary The stock: The showroom sells desks. Desks are where supplies live. Nobody has said which side the desks are on.
rival The household: The apprentice keeps coming up the stairs to switch things off.
rival The escaped batch: In Paperweight the staplers, fans and laminators are what stands between the batch and the Out tray.
unaware The tin: A sea has no paperwork.
unaware The company: Programmes are not stationery.
unaware Staff only: A different department.
unaware The draughts: A draught only moves paper. Paper doesn’t mind.

The four coworkers Proposed

Nobody leaves before the lights go off. The lights don’t go off.

Wants: To be the last one in the office, and to win.
Because: Everybody else is still here at 7:40 pm, so it must be the job.
How: Fighting, best of three.
Has: The open plan, the break room, the shop window and a stapler.
Blind spot: Nobody remembers what the company does.
Never: Clock out first.
Alignment: unbothered (leaves it), loose the axes
Leader: Nobody. Pip is three weeks in.
Members: Pip, Model 7, Brewster, Wren
Symbol: A clock at 7:40 pm
Found in: Overtime: all four fight there; GeoCities: the Working Late WebRing, kept by Pip

ally The office supplies: Pip’s stapler is one of them.
wary The household: Wren is supposed to be tidying the workshop. Everyone knows.
wary Staff only: The night staff come in as the coworkers should be going home. Neither says anything.
wary The stock: Model 7 used to be stock, and doesn’t talk about it. (the stock: rival)
unaware The tin: Nobody in the open plan has been inside a tin.
unaware The company: They have never been to the theatre. Model 7 would like to be in a show.
unaware The escaped batch: Brewster has opinions about milk, not jelly.
unaware The draughts: The open plan has no windows that open.

The escaped batch Proposed

Head for the Out tray, and wobble.

Wants: The Out tray, and then out.
Because: Slop goes where it isn’t stopped. That is all it is.
How: Wobbling, rolling, flying, splitting into crumbs, and arriving by the handful.
Has: Numbers, mostly. A Centrepiece that sheds more jelly.
Blind spot: It has no plan for after the Out tray.
Never: Stop on its own.
Alignment: unbothered (leaves it), spilled the axes
Leader: Nobody leads it; the Centrepiece is only the biggest.
Members: Jelly, The Centrepiece, Teacup, Paper moth, Walnut, Sardine tin, Foil swan, Gumball, Bread roll, Kettle, Snow globe
Maybe: The Mother Batch not on record, The First Batch not on record
Symbol: A jelly, mid-wobble
Found in: Paperweight: every enemy; Drip: jellies and paper moths; Flight Risk: a paper moth between the pipes; Skim: its cousins, still in the vats

wary The household: The Slopwright made it. It is going the other way. (the household: rival)
rival The office supplies: They are what is between it and the Out tray.
unaware The tin: It is too busy wobbling. (the tin: wary)
unaware The company: The walnut in the batch is not that walnut, and doesn’t care.
unaware Staff only: It has never seen a rota.
unaware The stock: It has never seen a price.
unaware The four coworkers: It has never been to the open plan, only across the desk.
unaware The draughts: Jelly doesn’t feel the cold.

The draughts Proposed

Every lamp goes out in the end. Help it.

Wants: The lamp out, and the cold in under every door.
Because: Every light goes out eventually; the draughts are only being early.
How: Blowing, from upstairs, again and again.
Has: The attic, a round window, and every gap under a door.
Blind spot: It has been trying for years and the lamp keeps coming back on.
Never: Come in through the front door.
Alignment: draughty (blows it out), loose the axes
Leader: The Draught
Members: The Draught, Draughtlet, Cobweb
Symbol: A gap under a door
Found in: Always On: the attic and the last fight; GeoCities: the Draught’s page in the Lighthouse Keepers ring

ally The tin: It joined the Lighthouse Keepers ring. It is tolerated, barely, and calls that friendship. (the tin: wary)
rival The household: The Draught has been blowing the lamp out for years.
unaware The company: The walnut has no gaps under its doors. (the company: wary)
unaware Staff only: The night staff follow the dust. The draughts never noticed. (Staff only: ally)
unaware The stock: Showrooms are kept warm.
unaware The office supplies: Paper flutters either way.
unaware The four coworkers: The open plan’s windows don’t open.
unaware The escaped batch: Jelly doesn’t blow out.